"Timeo Daneos et dona ferentes"
The Mogs would have done well to heed this ancient Roman warning to "beware Greeks bearing gifts" this Sunday. Welcomed once more into the beautiful surrounds of Follies Farm, plied with hand picked ales and delectable ham and egg sandwiches, and resplendent in their new bespoke "Kit by Honeyfield", we were well and truly skewered.
The sublime beauty of early season sunshine dappling the leaves of 800 year old oak trees around the boundary came as blessed relief from the driving rain of the morning. Similarly on this day of contrasts, an apparently effortless dismantling of the Follies top order by "Golden" Graham and Joe "Lennox" Lewis gave no clue of the carnage to follow. 5 wickets fell to perfectly pitched outswingers and the odd leaping short ball as dead-eye Dave Stevens took a hat-trick of catches and an air of confident relaxation gripped the Mogs. Captain Hewitt continued the onslaught with a tight spell yielding two more wickets (again caught) but this domination had found a counterpoint in the flowing drives of the tall Griffiths who compiled a 50 out of a precarious 80 for 7 for the Follies Old Spots.
More catches were held as Tharp and Stevens continued a low-speed assault on the ailing Follies late middle order, and despite Griffiths continued good form an all out total of 130 seemed well within the Mogs grasp - a grasp in fact that had yielded a remarkable full house of 10 caught dismissals.
Tea at Follies Farm is brilliantly simple in its home grown excellence. Even non-egg eaters are seduced by the rich yolk of Hens that are clearly as happy as their cricketers, and the succulent Gloucester Old Spot ham sandwiches provide the perfect counterpoint. With the addition of some wonderfully moist almond and lemon drizzle cake, this is a tea perfectly calibrated to fatten opposition into a state of post prandial pliability. And so it proved...
Freeland and Parker strode out together to open the innings in a Mog partnership more usually seen at the opposite end of an innings or Indian restaurant table dissecting the outer reaches of sub continental cuisine. Promisingly, our sturdy keeper started by matching his renowned sundries selection skills with shrewd judgement of shot as some testing early overs were repelled. Unfortunately his partner's subsequent calling for a short single showed all the judgement of a drunken joyrider, and Parker fell victim of the inevitable car crash, being run out by a pinpoint throw and gather at the bowlers end.
After some angry swatting, a visibly emotional Freeland departed soon after and unfortunately was followed by a procession of Mog middle order batsmen as Follies unveiled their secret weapon - a fast bowler revelling in what turned out to be the highly appropriate name "Hardman". His slingy, accurate deliveries proved a perfect recipe on a drying pitch, mixing good length snorters with stump rattling yorkers.
Over the course of 8 searing overs he despatched 6 Mogs and also perpetrated the merciless assassination of "Bombay Pickles" Burton's thumb, necessitating an awkward month of left hand poppadum loading whilst the broken digit heals (a justgiving page for the purchase of some suitable chutney assistance apparatus will be circulated shortly). Not even Will Cooper's doughty 25 runs of resistance could save the Mog's bacon as Hardman's butchery continued, and with a final rattling of timbers we subsided to 81 all out and a 50 run thumping.
So as the Mogs effected their Grexit from this favourite early season jewel of a fixture, they did so in the sure knowledge that they had been ambushed and well beaten. Host Angelo's friendly commiserations, along with further doses of ale washing down the remainder of the sandwiches, helped lessen the sting of defeat, but some form with the bat matching the excellent Mog catching and bowling effort in this match is required before victories can be contemplated.
Author - Jamie Freeland
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