If Carlsberg organised cricket tours, they would all have a game at Dumbleton Cricket Club. I have been on many Mogs tours, as well as many with Lancing College, Lancing Old Boys & the occasional guest tour appearance with Merstham and The Wanderers, but never have a side been made to feel so welcome by our Dumbleton hosts.
We arrived on Sunday at 10.30am for the 6-a-side tournament that Tour Director Richard "Tina" Turner had entered us for. The cricket club was set in the spectacular grounds of Dumbleton Hall with a backdrop that could not be improved - rolling Gloucestershire countryside, a stately home (that doubled as our accommodation), hundreds of grazing sheep and a beautiful wooden pavilion with pristine white marquee next door. The pitch itself was as flat as a pancake with a lime green outfield that Lords would have been proud of. Everything about the Club was pure class and the Mogs had a responsibility of ensuring that we put on a performance that we could be proud of. And we did, though sadly it was more in the bar than on the field of play.
Our touring party was made up of the following miscreants:
Alex "Huge" Hewitt
Richard "Tina" Turner
Andy "Eggson" Tharp
Charlie "Dairy" Lee
Mike "Magic" Johnson
Ali "Master" Brew
Jonathan "Pickles" Burton
Joseph "Sick Note" Lewis
William "Col Cuzza" Parker
Will "Mini" Cooper
Rob "Mrs" Brown
Jonathan "Butcher" Richards
Glenn "Kevin &" Perry
though just 8 of us put our whites on for the 6-a-side tournament with Tharp protecting his knee, Johnson protecting his health & Parker, Richards & Perry all turning up later on in the day. The standard of cricket was high and we were outclassed in our first three games with us neither being able to stem the runs or take the desired amount of wickets to oppress our opponents. We did however have great fun with most of the batsmen slapping some boundaries and nearly all of the bowlers taking a wicket. The bar was open throughout the day and a BBQ kept us fed though we were disappointed that it was put out before we had had a chance to use all of our tokens. With the first pint taken at 10.45 it is safe to say that by the time of our last match (against Finalists Edlington) most of the Mog party had consumed around a gallon of St Edmonds bitter or Becks lager. Despite playing against younger, fitter, infinitely more sober and frankly better cricketers, we recorded a breath-taking win off the penultimate ball that got easily the biggest cheer of the day. Whilst we were not remotely County standard on the pitch, we were Test standard off o it and what's more we would have been ranked No 1 by a distance if they had judged performance on bar takings.
Most of the other teams left after the Final, won fittingly by our hosts, but some of the Dumbleton boys fancied a beer and before long, to quote Kool and the Gang:
"There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you"
Home player and fireman "Greedy" was persuaded to sleep the night in the marquee and keep the clubhouse open, Hewitt took on landlord responsibilities behind the bar, Turner & Lee brilliantly put on Judges outfits and dished out a liberal number of liquid fines, competitive French cricket was played by everyone (inside & outside the pavilion), JD ate all of Dumbleton's remaining pickled eggs, Joseph told everyone about all of his new injuries and the mother of all late night sessions took place, outpacing even the most debauched nights in Perranporth in the 1990's. A quick pit stop via the bar in Dumbleton Hall saw the Mogs all tucked up before it got light, dreaming of our all day game against Dumbleton the following morning.
After a splendid Full English and a quick game of croquet to get the competitive spirits flowing, we walked 2 minutes from our accommodation to the ground (how brilliant is that) though this time it was pints of lime & soda that were being ordered and not ale. We won the toss and elected to field first with Lee striking first (plumb LBW) followed by Brown after Lewis had been denied. Our hosts were quite strong and the outfield so fast that it did not take Captain Turner long to work out that containment was the order of the day against our accomplished hosts. Cooper was hit out of the attack, Hewitt toiled for 11 overs before lunch without success (though with runs kept in check) and Tharp took out 1st XI skipper Adam LBW in the final over before lunch, seeing the home team at around 135-3 off 35 overs.
And what a lunch it was - taken in the marquee the teams were joined by around 50 or 60 locals who knew the quality of the food on offer. A buffet table groaned with cold ham, smoked salmon, prawns, smoked mackerel, minted potatoes and a choice of 5 salads with freshly baked bread. Dessert was made up of a choice of profiteroles, Bakewell tart, cheesecake, Pavlova or Stilton, Brie & Cheddar, all washed down by port that the Mogs had provided both teams. Each of the Mogs gave the food a score of 10/10 - a score that had never before been achieved....
After lunch both Tharp (3-81) and Hewitt (2-76) struck twice with Hewitt bowling his longest ever spell for the Mogs 20 -1-76-2. Dumbleton declared at 270 for 8 and although it was a large score, we all felt that we had performed as well as we could with our fielding being mostly excellent, particularly Mr Brew behind the stumps and JD in the outfield.
We started confidently in reply with Turner & Brown seeing off the first 5 overs but Turner (9)was deceived by a good slower ball, Brown (20) slapped the leggies 2nd ball to mid-on, with Burton(12), Lewis (0) & Parker (10 all back in the pavilion soon after. Cooper (43) and Hewitt (37) slapped a few boundaries but Dumbleton soon put these two out of their misery, along with Johnson (1), Tharp (8), Brew (1) leaving Charlie 0*.
Whilst the margin of defeat was quite high we had the mother of all parties again with our hosts after the match. Dumbleton's tea ladies, not content with serving 5 different spectacular cakes at the tea interval, then cooked chicken casserole & roast potatoes for dinner and another session commenced. Dumbleton head honchos "Powelly" and "Bucket" drank with us all night, along with half of their team and "Bucket" soon had his guitar out playing sing-along "classics" that kept the bar open past 2am again. Hewitt & Parker gave out the fines this time, Browny showed Clapton like qualities on the guitar & Turner made a splendid speech that thanked our wonderful hosts.
It is always easy saying "that was the best match/the best night etc." when you are caught up in the emotion of a great game but upon reflection I cannot think of a host team going to such lengths to give us a day to remember. We have potentially been invited to come back in 2 years' time though on the basis that we strengthen our team a little bit in order to make our cricket a bit more competitive, which is fair enough. I would urge you all to come & play or watch.
Huge
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