The sun bathed Reigate Priory in tranquil splendour on a hot Thursday during the annual Mogs vs RPCC cricket week fixture. Joy at being away from desks and offices was doubled at the news that Priory captain Toby "Jug" Briggs had won the toss and elected to bowl first. With not a blade of grass to be seen anywhere near the batting crease at both ends what knowledge did the home side have that would have made Colin Cowdrey shake his head with despair?
A game within a game started early as Fairclough and Cooper opened the batting together running level pegging for total runs for the season. When Cooper inside edged a full toss on to boot then on to stumps Fairclough maintained dignity at the other end and did well not to even let out a titter of glee. Cooper was unable to offer comment as he is still seeking legal options to appeal the decision but has simply advised readers to look out for his documentary "Cooper: The Price of Runs" which will be found on good cable networks soon.
An inspired choice of batting order from captain Hewitt placed the ever thirsty Wood at 3 and away from the bar for long enough to score some runs of genuine class. Fairclough and Wood added around 70 before Fairclough mistimed a drive allowing further Mogs "submissive" partners to join Wood for his onslaught. This included a dash and out from captain Hewitt and a welcome return from John Parker, brother of Colonel Cuzza to make his first appearance since Tadworth '02. A flurry of press photographers turned out to see the old favourite come out to bat much like Eden Gardens with Sachin at his pomp.
Lunch review at this point, a super spread of bird, salad, hot sausage rolls (oven cooked with the timing of an Ian Bell cover drive) and root vegetables accompanied by a blackberry and apple crumble. Also an allocation of cheese per wedge cut with the same generosity as the decision to bowl first. Priory did however play one of their jokers at lunch when the ID's were shown showing that the bottle of port purchased for Priory at lunch would have to be finished by the Mogs the advantage to this will soon be revealed.
Wood finished his innings to make a fantastic unbeaten 132 not out giving the mogs a total of 255 for 6.
Too much port seemed to equal seven or eight overs of indescribable appalingness in the field. Attempts were made to describe it; "tat", "bilge", "dross" were all attempted. Frankly choose your own word to describe "everything that is bad ever" and it was that... RPCC made 70 odd runs in that time with the solitary wicket taken.
Following a tea of more confectionary delights and a brie and marmite sandwich (you read it correctly) the Mogs took to spin. Saker, Cooper and Hewitt bowled with control and Cooper reaped the rewards for control of the scoreboard taking 3 quick wickets. John "Carlos" Parker also gets a mention for catching a skyer not before shouting simply "OK" under to reassure everyone that everything was going to be alright. Wickets continued to fall and despite a few runs coming here and there in particular from RPCC number 3 who batted with discipline for his fifty.
Eventually Cooper snaffled the final wicket completing his five for with just 3 overs to spare. The perfect game of cricket week cricket; competitive and well spirited with a Mogs victory the conclusion. Thanks to all tea ladies scorers and umpires. Wood earned the man of the match award with an innings which proved to be the difference between the two sides. The Mogs take their victory to Dumbleton
Curry Report from Colonel Cuzza
In common with all elite athletes in the modern era the Mogador Wanderers speed up post match recovery and reduce lactic acid build up with ice. In our case, though, this means ice cold lager followed by curry to return the athletes' core temperature to the optimum level for high performance sportsmen.
The Priory game was no exception and having hoovered down a few post match sharpeners a select group headed off to Golden Curry to celebrate a successful day's cricket. This was slightly earlier than anticipated as Ali Kershaw called the curry takers to order as she was certain that our overseas member, The Butcher of Astana, was waiting alone and friendless on Bell Street. As it was the Butcher was still at prayer but an august Mogs group, lead by the Captain and supported by the Chairman, the Curry Secretary, Eggson, Younger Eggson, Mini Cooper, The Off Break, Amy Lewis, JD Burton. Emily Parker and 2 muscular companions, Bruce and Ali Lee all settled in to await his arrival with further ice therapy. We were accompanied by Peter Friend from the Priory who came to represent our hosts for the day.
The Curry Secretary ordered side dishes and rices to support quite a number of vindaloo orders which was a demonstration of the club's increasing competence in handling the hot stuff - off the field just the same as in play. Regrettably though as the Butcher of Astana was unhappy with the chilli content and wanted all the hot curries returned to Mr Ahmed for reheating and significant increase in spice output. Although from a purely technical perspective this was a reasonable request it was deemed impractical for all other purposes and so refused by the Curry Secretary.
As is customary on these occasions the two clubs have a final face-off (literally in this case) involving the now famous no hands pudding eating competition. Hewitt was keen to avenge a straight 3-0 series of defeats at the hands of Reigate Priory's previous skipper "Lew" Hoad and urged Peter Friend to choose his preferred desert from the extensive Golden Curry selection. The Mogs Skipper attacked his dish with a cold fury and his face was soon covered in melting ice cream but the contents of his dish were being rapidly consumed. Friend seemed to be of the opinion that adopting the digestive processes of a mollusc would be the best way of consuming ice cream in this manner and attempted to absorb the food through his oral membranes without any form of swallowing. This ultimately proved unsuccessful and he was duly beaten by Hewitt in a time of around two minutes, though had this been an evolutionary process run over a couple of million years it could well have been different.
As it was now late the members decided that their festivities should draw to a close and departed replete after a successful day's cricket and much general merriment.
MWCC Stats