"We shall not flag nor fail. We shall go to the end. We shall fight in France. We shall fight on the seas and oceans. We shall fight with growing strength in the air. We shall defend our island, whatever the cost maybe. We shall fight them on the beaches. We shall fight them on the landing grounds. We shall fight them in the streets and in fields. We shall fight them in the hills. We shall never surrender....."
These are the words that rang out in the dressing room from our inspirational Captain as we landed in Normandy ready for battle. Only this time, we would take no prisoners...
And poetically we won the toss and on a sun-drenched May afternoon deciding to bat first on what looked a belter of a pitch in this 45 over-a-side match. With that, the unlikely pairing of Petty Officer Furner and Lt. Freeland strode to the wicket on a beautiful tree-ringed ground that, minus the corporate sponsorship, would have had Constable reaching for his easel.
Early exchanges were respectfully observed by each side until in an uncharacteristic show of exuberance Furner ran himself out looking for an ambitious third. This brought to the crease Sergeant Honeyfield who having seen off the opening attack was dismayed to see an all spin double change. After a one over charge he was clean bowled by a quick spinning legbreak from Saturday 1st XI regular Nigel Pesterfield for 16.
However, at the other end Freeland was beginning to look good and was joined by Captain Hewitt, a man whose last 6 innings had amassed somewhere in the region of a million runs. Indeed such was his form that it was rumoured that a certain David Graveney may be down scouting before the first test on Thursday, although after a domestic dispute with the wife earlier in the day (including unwitting confiscation of car keys) it would be about as likely as Marcus Trescothick moving his feet that Hewitt could take 5 days in a row away from family life to play (quote) "silly, boring cricket".
And so true to form an incredible partnership began with Freeland playing best supporting actor to our hero's lead, although rumours that this more sensitive and mature aspect of the latter's game (widely attributed to the calming influence of his bride-to-be) will shortly lead to overseas work with orphaned children and endangered animals (soon to include the squirrel population of greater Normandy - see below) were unconfirmed.
As Freeland kept the score briskly ticking over and rotating the strike, so Hewitt began to dominate the bowling with no part of the large boundary safe from bombardment. Hewitt beat Freeland to 50 and then with the ship steady and a large total in sight launched an uncompromising assault on all who were put before him. Freeland was eventually run out for a faultless 68, sharing in a fantastic stand of 178, but by this time Hewitt had jet propelled the Mogs into the box seat.
He continued to plunder fours and sixes at will, and despite losing Admiral Abbott first ball, reached his hundred well before the end, finishing on 120 not out. This belligerent innings had included many sensational shots but the best was a "make room for yourself swat" off Normandy's brooding, moody Saturday 1st XI Jimmy Anderson look-(as opposed to bowl)a-like that sailed over the cover boundary for 6.
In the final few overs he was joined by forces sweetheart Jackson brandishing a new "wand" of a bat that he used to good effect. The Mogs ended their 45 overs on a daunting 237 for 4.
And so to tea, which was by far the best to date this season and would have had Jonners' dulcet tones eulogising in raptures over the airwaves. The consistency of the egg mayonnaise, the balance and freshness of the chicken salad sandwiches, and the melt-in- the mouth chocolate cornflake cakes were at the core of this oral extravaganza.
Also at tea came the arrival of an opposition fair maiden who caught the attention of many a Mog. As the afternoon continued she moved from bench to bench chasing the sun's rays whilst lying in numerous suggestive poses that had out fielders disobeying the Captain's precise positioning for a closer view.
Whilst we had a commanding total on the board we also knew Normandy were a strong side and that we would need to be on top of all facets of our game to pull off the win. The opening spells would be vital. Thankfully the story of the season continued as Bombardier Lewis.J stepped up and bowled an immaculate spell of 5 overs 1 for 17, which had Jackson taking the first of his two fine catches. Lewis was ably supported by Abbott and with more luck both could have taken further wickets.
The vice-like grip on the game soon grew tighter as into the attack came Freeland and General Briggs. At the fall of the first wicket had come Normandy's Sri Lankan professional, test capped Malinga Bandara, and with it the hopes of the home side. These were soon dashed as Freeland never let him settle and bowled him for 0 with a yorker that crept under the bat and rolled tantalisingly back onto his stumps. At the other end Briggs was tight, but controversy soon reigned after the left handed number 3 was given out caught at point by Jackson, taking a fantastic catch inches off the ground diving forward. The bowler and batsmen exchanged pleasantries and an unfortunate new name was coined, with Briggs favourite to captain the newly styled "Yobador" Wanderers.
Freeland then rejoined the party as he had the other opener caught behind by Colonel Parker who overall had a fantastic day with the gloves with 2 vital catches and countless bye-saving dives without which the match would have been far tighter. Freeland then momentarily swapped his new found maturity to add weight to the less than flattering Mogador name change when a clearly gloved ball to Parker by the afore-mentioned youthful quick (now in the middle order) was not given out. He soon had his revenge however, first bulls-eyeing his opponent's youthful testicles with a lifter, and two balls later inducing a high, flying edge which Honeyfield athletically snapped up with a left handed dive at gully.
The shackles continued to grow tighter as the run rate remained less than required and as Briggs, bowling a brilliantly accurate spell, took his second wicket with a faultless, running catch on the boundary by Gunner Tharp, so the fat lady was heard warming up.
The final nails in the coffin were administered by second in Command Lewis.M with a miserly 2 for 16 and Honeyfield with 2 for 20 (although Lewis.J was somewhat apoplectic at not being brought back to finish the job he had begun earlier). Normandy ended up 166 all out, some 71 runs adrift of the Mogs imposing total.
After another imperiously professional all-round performance against a Surrey Championship premier league side, and despite being early in the season, a few hushed conversations turned to thoughts of emulating Arsenal's unbeaten season. How fitting a tribute that would be to a man who is finally hanging up his boots after decades of dedicated and match winning service to the Mogs, Major Peter Martin.
"Sure I am this day we are masters of our own fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that it pangs and toils is not beyond our endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us." And indeed it wasn't; Churchill would be proud.
MWCC Stats