Clinical is usually a term only applicable to the odd Mogador Wanderer after an overdose of cricket tour. However their collective performance at Brook was redolent of the Australians on a particularly ruthless day, seizing the initiative with the bat and then throttling a demoralized batting order with hostile and accurate bowling.
A strong Mogs batting line up emerged from winter storage like one of the growling cabriolets that zipped past Brook's beautiful ground throughout a gloriously warm, sunny April afternoon. However there were a couple of initial misfires, with Furner nicking 'a good one' from Johns to be caught behind for 1, and after three well timed 4's, Freeland running himself out when Turner played C-3PO to a Darth Vader-like call that relied rather too much on telepathy.
However, in true Star Wars fashion, the Mogs bravely faced their mighty Surrey Championship opposition head on, and the Turner/Fairclough axis prepared the ground for a full blown airborne assault. When Fairclough was unluckily 'holed amidships' by one that kept low for 10, the Mogs very own 'lost son' arrived at the crease to write his own dramatic chapter in the club's epic history.
Big Jimmy Honeyfield had spent most of the previous 8 months blazing a trail through Australia, India and South America, and his innings combined the best elements of these diverse cultures. Three absolutely magnificently stuck straight sixes from chinaman bowler Toby Johns were redolent of the great Adam Gilchrist at his best, whilst some wristy cuts and turns off his legs were positively 'Laxmanesque'. However it was the wild eyed, teeth clenching intensity that was particularly reminiscent of the Andes hill tribes and their tireless coca plant-fuelled all night parties (although a search of Honeyfield's kit bag revealed no such substances).
Turner reached 58 from 75 balls (6 fours, 1 six) in his customary stylish manner, but scarily (for Brook) when he was controversially stumped, Honeyfield was joined in mid-frenzy by the Mogs only double centurion Hewitt, and the crowd (should we say audience) were treated to a blow by blow highlights show as each partner struggled to upstage the other.
After 40 minutes of the highest entertainment, Honeyfield departed for a glorious top score 85 made from 84 balls with 7 fours and 5 mighty sixes. Hewitt however was far from finished and added 4 maximums of his own, including a lazily flicked monster over square leg that cleared the adjacent tennis courts and lodged in a hawthorn bush. He was joined by Tharpe who amazingly struck a blow to rank alongside all that had gone before - a towering, lofted cover drive that sailed over the wall, skipped through the door of the Dog and Pheasant and ordered a foaming pint of Abbot ale for good measure. Well, not quite, but it was a memorable shot none the less.
Hewitt ended his human threshing maching impression unbeaten on 84 from 51 balls with 6 fours and 4 sixes, and as the Mogs took tea, there was a satisfying feeling of the gauntlet having been thrown down to their worthy foes.
However the challenge never really materialized, with Brook's batting line up never really firing and their big guns unaccountably batting in the middle order. If the plan was to mount a late assault then it certainly backfired, as Freeland (9 overs for 13 runs) and Abbot (9 overs 1 wicket for 46) swung the ball at pace to effectively garrotted the run chase at birth. Only the occasional blow from captain Sillett (38/70 balls) and Sri Lankan professional Weerappuli (22/41, including a creamy square drive off his first ball in English cricket) interrupted the almost dreamlike accuracy of the Mogs attack, and with the Lewis brothers Joe (2 for 38) and Matt (2 for 19) adding a few smart variations to the stranglehold, a steady trickle of wickets left the home team facing an impossible equation of 180 needed off the last 20 overs.
There's only one batsmen in the world that could have helped them in such situations, but not only is Johnny Parker not presently a resident in these shores he's also a Mog.
So, with the situation hopeless, the two batting heroes Hewitt (5 overs 2 for 10) and Honeyfield (4 overs 1 for 19) casually picked off Brook's lower order who, apart from some savage blows from Chabisa (20/22), succumbed like an 18 year old glamour model at the hands of a premiership footballer.They ended their 45 overs on 137 for 8 wickets, and victory was reclaimed by an ecstatic and bizarrely (for April) sun-blushed Mogador team.
Reports that Stuart Jackson was planning an IPO for MWCC on the back of this performance were awaiting confirmation at time of going to press. Suffice it to say that the Mogs were good. Real good. If this be a preview of the coming season then, a tilt at the ICC trophy in August should not be ruled out. Especially if Furner keeps taking catches!
MWCC Stats